FLIPPIN, AR – With a population of less than 1,500 the residents of Flippin, Arkansas attribute their relative good health to adhering to superstitions that have been passed down from generation to generation. So when the talk of the Corona virus began spreading in town many began to ask themselves what their parents and grandparents would do to make sure they didn’t catch this deadly virus.
Some suggested herding cats to create a feline barrier to stop the spread of the virus. Others insisted that drinking a combination of prune and pickle juice could help stave off the infection. While others believed that not showering would help their body use its own bacteria to fight off the disease.
But Boomer Haney, the Mayor of Flippin and the town council had a better idea. “The first thing we did was to create an ordinance making it illegal to stock or sell Corona beer” Haney said. “We just weren’t sure if that specific brand had something to do with the virus so we decided it was better to be safe than sorry.”
Then the rumors started around town that someone’s cousin in Little Rock got the virus just from standing next to a person and then someone else said that you could catch it just by looking at a person the wrong way because a friend said that their aunt had contracted the virus after giving a cashier in Harrison a dirty look when she gave her back five ones instead of a five dollar bill at the Country Mart.
Word spread and now the entire town is on a don’t look anyone directly in the eyes lock down. “I haven’t looked anyone in the eye for two weeks now,” admitted Bailey Haney a waitress at a local cafe in town. “So far I haven’t gotten sick so it can’t hurt, but my tips are down about $10 cause people know I can’t see who is tipping me.” While the mayor is hopeful that there is only a few more weeks left before this pandemic is officially declared over he is advising residents to keep their eyes down until further notice.
